i’m a freaking idiot for deciding not to go to real college next year. i’m so scared for next year. i feel like no one even cares. i thought going to PCC the first year was such a good idea. i thought it would be so much easier and cheaper. the truth is i would rather pay $40,000 a year, than be unsure about next year. i’m so scared i’m going to not finish my school. i’m afraid i’m not going to do anything with my life. i’m gonna be that 30 year old looser who has no friends, no boyfriend, and still lives with my parents. for real though, i’m just so terrified for next year. i absolutely hate change. i hate everything it entails. all i want to do is talk to someone about this, but i feel like all the people in my life who are suppose to listen to me and help with next year, don’t give a crap. they have their own lives, and they don’t think to take the time to talk to me or understand how i feel. i just wish i have someone to talk to. i should have gone to college and move out like a normal person does. i guess i’m just not normal and that is how it will always be. if i like it or not.